The
smell of fresh porridge wafted out of the open door of the cottage and
Goldilocks followed her nose inside. Sure enough, three different-sized bowls
stood on the kitchen table. The smallest bowl tasted the best, and she ate it
all up.
Her
stomach felt rather heavy after that, and she thought she’d better sit down. The
smallest chair was the comfiest, but after a few seconds she heard a crack and
ended up on her bottom amid a pile of broken wood.
Now
her bum was sore, her tummy seemed to be full of lead weights, and to add to
that, she felt like she was going to black out. She dragged herself upstairs to
find a bed. She chose the smallest one – it felt like it had been made for her –
and fell into a chasm of sleep.
The
three bears were shocked when they returned to find the mess and the empty
bowl. They hurried upstairs to find a little girl asleep in Baby Bear’s bed.
“Who
is she?” asked Daddy Bear.
“Was she,” corrected Mummy Bear, after
feeling for Goldilocks’ pulse. “That porridge...” She sank onto her own bed and
put her head in her paws. “Bear porridge is poisonous to humans – only sugar
cancels out the effects. If she’d waited for us to come back, I would have
given her some and none of this would have happened.”
“What
do we do now?” Daddy Bear was comforting his son, who had started to cry.
“Take
her out to the woods behind the house. Then we’ll need to pack up and get gone.
Once her family realise she’s missing, the local bear family’s going to be
first on their hit list. I really thought this time might be different, but it
seems bears find trouble everywhere.”
If you want to read more, you can find a linky list here, courtesy of awesome Team Captain Leigh Covington. I can't wait to get round to all the other entries!
68 comments:
Oh no! But hey, that's what you get for taking without asking.
Could you imagine this story sitting on the bookshelves at an elementary school?!
Love it! Those poor bears!
I love it. Sugar as the antidote - brilliant.
What a great twist! Ha! I never did like Goldie... (:
And let that be a lesson to you, Goldilocks! :-) Awesome twist.
If she'd only waited...
Hahahaha. This is awesome. Poor bears. Is this some kind of environmental statement about endangered species? LOL.
HAHAH! I will have to remember to bring a packet of sugar with me if ever I'm in the woods and hungry and come across a bear's cottage...
Whoops! And that's why you don't dine with bears...
What a cool twist on the story! Great job! :D
Oh no! Poor Goldilocks! I love that the source of tragedy here is gastrointestinal :)Nicely done.
Oh my goodness! Shame on you, Nick!
*rolling on the floor laughing...I mean crying*
I love this! Have you read Jasper Fforde's Nursery Rhyme Crime books? This has a similar flavor.
Danielle - Haha. I blame the parents... That's the thing about fairytales, a lot of them are seriously scary to start with. Hansel and Gretel anyone??
Sara - All they wanted was a quiet life!
Sally - Thanks!
Elise - Thanks. Me neither!
Louise - I know. Wandering into someone's house and helping yourself to their breakfast? You deserve what you get!
Alex - They'd have been happy to share!
Shell - Good angle on it - the bears always get a bad rap! Not to mention wolves...
Julie - Lol, thanks!
Rena - Thanks. Yeah, best avoided!
Kyra - Thanks, mate!
Kim - Thanks. I'll be interested to see if anyone else did Goldilocks...
Linda - Thanks! It is a bit tragicomic.
Jenna - I've not, but I've heard lots of good things about his work. Another good book in this vein is Roald Dahl's Revolting Rhymes. The Goldilocks version in there is awesome!
A neat twist...and that's why we shouldn't go into someone's house to eat their food without permission. I hope those bears don't get in trouble!
Hahaha. Those bears sure are trouble. Nice twist!
Greetings!
I'm hopping over from GUTGAA and wanted to start visiting some blogs early! Nice to meet you...you have a lovely blog!
Donna L Martin
www.donnalmartin.com
www.donasdays.blogspot.com
Aaaw, poor persecuted bears. When I saw your story was a tragedy and about Goldilocks I was waiting for her to get mauled! I like your idea better.
NICK!!!! Ohhhhh... where did that come from??? LOL. So tragic. But I totally enjoyed it. Clever! ;)
Oh dear those poor bears! LOL!
The bears are the victims aren't they? Poor guys.
Just posted my entry instead of the genre one I prescheduled incorrectly!
The right lesson to be learnt...clever twist, and tragic for all involved.
Aww, what a bummer! You did a great job, Nick. :)
Ha! Brilliant. That'll teach Goldilocks for sneaking into people's (or bear's) houses and snaffling their food.
That's an awesome ending! That's what Goldilocks gets for stealing porridge!
Haha! I love the twist on Goldilocks! What a brilliant way to change up the story a little bit. ;)
Dude, you killed Goldilocks... awesome!!!
(oops, sorry, did I spell that out loud :)
Classic twist, and I was laughing (is that bad?) at the antidote :)
Great job, and so glad you had the time to participate :)
I enjoyed this, and I feel bad for the bears.
I always thought Goldilocks was an entitled brat in the way she just walks into their house and touches all their stuff.
My warped mind thought for sure she'd become a snack for the bears at the end. Lol
Like the way you made the bears the victims. Very clever! Nice work, Nick!
Aw, poor bear family. Nice job with the tragedy! I'm disappointed that I forgot about this and didn't get anything written for it. But I'm enjoying reading the entries.
Cynthia - Thanks! The bears always get painted as the bad guys...
Emily - Thanks!
Donna - Thanks! Nice to meet you. :)
Rose - Thanks. Glad I had you going...
Morgan - Thanks! Goldie always annoyed me how she got away so easily... I didn't know what I was going to do until I read through some fairy tales, but then it came very easily.
Madeleine - I know. All they want is to live without persecution!
J.A. - Thanks. It's not a good ending for anyone concerned!
Rek - Thanks. Glad it was suitably tragic!
Carrie - Thanks! :)
Mama J - Thanks. Shame she won't get to learn from that lesson... *evil cackle*
Lara - Thanks! You said it!
Griffinclaw - Thanks. Fun to mix it up!
Mark - Thanks! Based on your comment, I fall into every category except Love Story - cool! I like how you found a trace of dark humour. :)
Jennifer - Exactly! Who does she think she is, huh??
Jackie - Thanks! I never thought of the bears as bad.
Shannon - Thanks! Gah, I hate forgetting stuff. :) There's loads of great entries in this!
Uh-oh. I feel bad for the bears and they sound compassionate in this version.
Great twist with the poisonous porridge.
Great story, it serves her right for breaking in and helping herself!
I loved the bears in this version :)
Haha! This was excellent, what a great twist! Love it. :D
love the twist! tho poor goldilocks?..
great job!
HAH! That is brilliant!!! Love the twist on this one!
This is awesome. lol. Was I not suppose to laugh? I did not expect her death. I almost thought you were going to change her into "Sister Bear" Great job :)
Hahah! Brilliant! (=
Awesome twist!
Gosh, doesn't everyone put a little sugar on their porridge? Now the poor bear family has to live on the run!
Great entry Nick!
Go Team Tragedy!
Great tale. Nice moral and twist to the end as well. Bears always do seem to get into trouble. At least that is what Hibbs says in my THE BEAR WITH 2 SHADOWS! :-)
Nice job! That'll teach kids not to take stuff that doesn't belong to them! ;)
Wow! Wicked twist on Goldilocks, and a moral to boot! Loved the bit about the sugar. Poor bears. Enjoyed your pacing, and elegant style. :)
Aww, haha :) Poor Goldie. I'm never getting near bears again.... (Not because they can maul me; Because of their porrige.)
Sad! But, didn't anybody ever teach Goldilocks not to enter homes that are not hers without permission? Not to eat other people's food and sleep in their beds when their not home? That's the moral of the story, and then the bears will get blamed for her idiocy, even though they did nothing wrong. Even more sad.
Great story!
Hi, Nick,
Nice to meet you. Thanks for stopping by my blog.
Poor Goldy. How sad. Interesting twist to this classic. Who would've thought that bear porridge is poisonous. Good piece of info to know. LOL.
I hope you're enjoying the other entries... I am.
Hi, Nick,
Nice to meet you. Thanks for stopping by my blog.
Poor Goldy. How sad. Interesting twist to this classic. Who would've thought that bear porridge is poisonous. Good piece of info to know. LOL.
I hope you're enjoying the other entries... I am.
Great twist! And glad to see I'm not the only one here with a dark side, who laughed at this tragedy :)
I enjoyed your writing, nice to meet you.
Blame-it-on-the-bears... I love the manner in which you managed to make the bears like the victims! Great style, Nick!
Thanks for visiting my blog and leaving a comment!
Hi Nick .. bear porridge - oh dear and could be so true - great thought adjustment ... I'll remember the sugar in the future ..
Cheers Hilary
Awesome. Goldie got what she deserved.
Awww poor bear family! I feel more sorry for them than I do for greedy Goldilocks!
Thanks for the comments everyone! It seems that people enjoyed the twist, and Goldilocks getting her comeuppance! Awesome to know. :)
Ha Nick, love this. What a way to treat Goldilocks! I like the thriller aspect at the end. Great work for the fest.
Thanks for visiting my Cindy entry...
BTW, love: '...fell into a chasm of sleep.'
Haha! Oh, poor Goldilocks. Must admit, I do love porridge, though.
Great posting and loved the idea on the Three Bears ending. :) This twist would have definitely changed the story. Enjoyed reading and Thanks for reading my twist. :)
I never suspected that about porridge. Thanks for the heads up! I really like that the antidote is sugar. :-)
Love it!! I think that is a great twist on an old tale, and in only a few hundred words. I guess she shouldn't have stolen the porridge.
This was my favorite growing up. Though she didn't eat herself to death. =) Great twist.
Hehehe! Great story! I feel really sorry for the bears.
Nick, this is an awesome story!
Thanks so much for stopping by to visit.
Kathy M.
This is a great post. Good job!
What a great twist! Loved it!
Hey, I'm catching up on all the entries. Enjoyed this one!
lol, this is wonderfully creative.
How lovely! Twisted, but lovely!
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haha wow, i didn't see that twist coming. Very well done, Nick. And porridge without sugar? she must have been really hungry..:D
Thanks for hopping by my blog, It's great to meet you.:)
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