Thursday, 16 August 2012

"What If?" Fairytale Madness Blogfest

This fun blogfest is running from Monday to Friday this week. Our mission, if we chose to accept it, was to pick a classic fairytale and tweak it by altering "one detail, one event, one character trait, one thought". There are four categories: Plot Twists, Love Stories, Comic Relief and Tragedy. It didn't take me long to opt for the Tragedy team (I do like putting my characters through hell), but I've only just done my entry now although I've been signed up for almost two months. I was a bit stuck on the fact that most fairytales are tragedies if you just take away the happy ending, but I think I've finally come up with something a bit more creative. Anyway, it was super fun to write! Here's my entry of 300 words, hope you enjoy...




The smell of fresh porridge wafted out of the open door of the cottage and Goldilocks followed her nose inside. Sure enough, three different-sized bowls stood on the kitchen table. The smallest bowl tasted the best, and she ate it all up.

Her stomach felt rather heavy after that, and she thought she’d better sit down. The smallest chair was the comfiest, but after a few seconds she heard a crack and ended up on her bottom amid a pile of broken wood.

Now her bum was sore, her tummy seemed to be full of lead weights, and to add to that, she felt like she was going to black out. She dragged herself upstairs to find a bed. She chose the smallest one – it felt like it had been made for her – and fell into a chasm of sleep.

The three bears were shocked when they returned to find the mess and the empty bowl. They hurried upstairs to find a little girl asleep in Baby Bear’s bed.

“Who is she?” asked Daddy Bear.

Was she,” corrected Mummy Bear, after feeling for Goldilocks’ pulse. “That porridge...” She sank onto her own bed and put her head in her paws. “Bear porridge is poisonous to humans – only sugar cancels out the effects. If she’d waited for us to come back, I would have given her some and none of this would have happened.”

“What do we do now?” Daddy Bear was comforting his son, who had started to cry.

“Take her out to the woods behind the house. Then we’ll need to pack up and get gone. Once her family realise she’s missing, the local bear family’s going to be first on their hit list. I really thought this time might be different, but it seems bears find trouble everywhere.”



If you want to read more, you can find a linky list here, courtesy of awesome Team Captain Leigh Covington. I can't wait to get round to all the other entries!

68 comments:

Danielle B. said...

Oh no! But hey, that's what you get for taking without asking.
Could you imagine this story sitting on the bookshelves at an elementary school?!

S.P. Bowers said...

Love it! Those poor bears!

Sally said...

I love it. Sugar as the antidote - brilliant.

Elise Fallson said...

What a great twist! Ha! I never did like Goldie... (:

Louise Bates said...

And let that be a lesson to you, Goldilocks! :-) Awesome twist.

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

If she'd only waited...

Shell Flower said...

Hahahaha. This is awesome. Poor bears. Is this some kind of environmental statement about endangered species? LOL.

Julie Dao said...

HAHAH! I will have to remember to bring a packet of sugar with me if ever I'm in the woods and hungry and come across a bear's cottage...

Rena said...

Whoops! And that's why you don't dine with bears...

Kyra Lennon said...

What a cool twist on the story! Great job! :D

Kim said...

Oh no! Poor Goldilocks! I love that the source of tragedy here is gastrointestinal :)Nicely done.

Linda Jackson said...

Oh my goodness! Shame on you, Nick!

*rolling on the floor laughing...I mean crying*

JennaQuentin said...

I love this! Have you read Jasper Fforde's Nursery Rhyme Crime books? This has a similar flavor.

Nick Wilford said...

Danielle - Haha. I blame the parents... That's the thing about fairytales, a lot of them are seriously scary to start with. Hansel and Gretel anyone??

Sara - All they wanted was a quiet life!

Sally - Thanks!

Elise - Thanks. Me neither!

Louise - I know. Wandering into someone's house and helping yourself to their breakfast? You deserve what you get!

Alex - They'd have been happy to share!

Shell - Good angle on it - the bears always get a bad rap! Not to mention wolves...

Julie - Lol, thanks!

Rena - Thanks. Yeah, best avoided!

Kyra - Thanks, mate!

Kim - Thanks. I'll be interested to see if anyone else did Goldilocks...

Linda - Thanks! It is a bit tragicomic.

Jenna - I've not, but I've heard lots of good things about his work. Another good book in this vein is Roald Dahl's Revolting Rhymes. The Goldilocks version in there is awesome!

Cynthia said...

A neat twist...and that's why we shouldn't go into someone's house to eat their food without permission. I hope those bears don't get in trouble!

Emily R. King said...

Hahaha. Those bears sure are trouble. Nice twist!

Donna L Martin said...

Greetings!

I'm hopping over from GUTGAA and wanted to start visiting some blogs early! Nice to meet you...you have a lovely blog!

Donna L Martin
www.donnalmartin.com
www.donasdays.blogspot.com

Rose Munevar said...

Aaaw, poor persecuted bears. When I saw your story was a tragedy and about Goldilocks I was waiting for her to get mauled! I like your idea better.

Morgan said...

NICK!!!! Ohhhhh... where did that come from??? LOL. So tragic. But I totally enjoyed it. Clever! ;)

Madeleine Maddocks said...

Oh dear those poor bears! LOL!

J. A. Bennett said...

The bears are the victims aren't they? Poor guys.

Madeleine Maddocks said...

Just posted my entry instead of the genre one I prescheduled incorrectly!

Rek said...

The right lesson to be learnt...clever twist, and tragic for all involved.

Carrie Butler said...

Aww, what a bummer! You did a great job, Nick. :)

Mama J said...

Ha! Brilliant. That'll teach Goldilocks for sneaking into people's (or bear's) houses and snaffling their food.

Lara Schiffbauer said...

That's an awesome ending! That's what Goldilocks gets for stealing porridge!

Griffinclaw said...

Haha! I love the twist on Goldilocks! What a brilliant way to change up the story a little bit. ;)

Mark Koopmans said...

Dude, you killed Goldilocks... awesome!!!

(oops, sorry, did I spell that out loud :)

Classic twist, and I was laughing (is that bad?) at the antidote :)

Great job, and so glad you had the time to participate :)

Jennifer said...

I enjoyed this, and I feel bad for the bears.

I always thought Goldilocks was an entitled brat in the way she just walks into their house and touches all their stuff.

Jackie said...

My warped mind thought for sure she'd become a snack for the bears at the end. Lol

Like the way you made the bears the victims. Very clever! Nice work, Nick!

Shannon Lawrence said...

Aw, poor bear family. Nice job with the tragedy! I'm disappointed that I forgot about this and didn't get anything written for it. But I'm enjoying reading the entries.

Nick Wilford said...

Cynthia - Thanks! The bears always get painted as the bad guys...

Emily - Thanks!

Donna - Thanks! Nice to meet you. :)

Rose - Thanks. Glad I had you going...

Morgan - Thanks! Goldie always annoyed me how she got away so easily... I didn't know what I was going to do until I read through some fairy tales, but then it came very easily.

Madeleine - I know. All they want is to live without persecution!

J.A. - Thanks. It's not a good ending for anyone concerned!

Rek - Thanks. Glad it was suitably tragic!

Carrie - Thanks! :)

Mama J - Thanks. Shame she won't get to learn from that lesson... *evil cackle*

Lara - Thanks! You said it!

Griffinclaw - Thanks. Fun to mix it up!

Mark - Thanks! Based on your comment, I fall into every category except Love Story - cool! I like how you found a trace of dark humour. :)

Jennifer - Exactly! Who does she think she is, huh??

Jackie - Thanks! I never thought of the bears as bad.

Shannon - Thanks! Gah, I hate forgetting stuff. :) There's loads of great entries in this!

Medeia Sharif said...

Uh-oh. I feel bad for the bears and they sound compassionate in this version.

Great twist with the poisonous porridge.

Laura said...

Great story, it serves her right for breaking in and helping herself!
I loved the bears in this version :)

Clare said...

Haha! This was excellent, what a great twist! Love it. :D

Tara Tyler said...

love the twist! tho poor goldilocks?..
great job!

Lisa Regan said...

HAH! That is brilliant!!! Love the twist on this one!

Jennifer Young said...

This is awesome. lol. Was I not suppose to laugh? I did not expect her death. I almost thought you were going to change her into "Sister Bear" Great job :)

Jo Schaffer said...

Hahah! Brilliant! (=

Leigh Covington said...

Awesome twist!
Gosh, doesn't everyone put a little sugar on their porridge? Now the poor bear family has to live on the run!

Great entry Nick!
Go Team Tragedy!

Roland D. Yeomans said...

Great tale. Nice moral and twist to the end as well. Bears always do seem to get into trouble. At least that is what Hibbs says in my THE BEAR WITH 2 SHADOWS! :-)

Rachel Schieffelbein said...

Nice job! That'll teach kids not to take stuff that doesn't belong to them! ;)

D. D. Falvo said...

Wow! Wicked twist on Goldilocks, and a moral to boot! Loved the bit about the sugar. Poor bears. Enjoyed your pacing, and elegant style. :)

SC Author said...

Aww, haha :) Poor Goldie. I'm never getting near bears again.... (Not because they can maul me; Because of their porrige.)

Cathy Keaton said...

Sad! But, didn't anybody ever teach Goldilocks not to enter homes that are not hers without permission? Not to eat other people's food and sleep in their beds when their not home? That's the moral of the story, and then the bears will get blamed for her idiocy, even though they did nothing wrong. Even more sad.

Great story!

Michael Di Gesu said...

Hi, Nick,

Nice to meet you. Thanks for stopping by my blog.

Poor Goldy. How sad. Interesting twist to this classic. Who would've thought that bear porridge is poisonous. Good piece of info to know. LOL.

I hope you're enjoying the other entries... I am.

Michael Di Gesu said...

Hi, Nick,

Nice to meet you. Thanks for stopping by my blog.

Poor Goldy. How sad. Interesting twist to this classic. Who would've thought that bear porridge is poisonous. Good piece of info to know. LOL.

I hope you're enjoying the other entries... I am.

Stephen James Lock said...

Great twist! And glad to see I'm not the only one here with a dark side, who laughed at this tragedy :)
I enjoyed your writing, nice to meet you.

michelle said...

Blame-it-on-the-bears... I love the manner in which you managed to make the bears like the victims! Great style, Nick!
Thanks for visiting my blog and leaving a comment!

Hilary Melton-Butcher said...

Hi Nick .. bear porridge - oh dear and could be so true - great thought adjustment ... I'll remember the sugar in the future ..

Cheers Hilary

Randy said...

Awesome. Goldie got what she deserved.

Catherine Noble said...

Awww poor bear family! I feel more sorry for them than I do for greedy Goldilocks!

Nick Wilford said...

Thanks for the comments everyone! It seems that people enjoyed the twist, and Goldilocks getting her comeuppance! Awesome to know. :)

Denise Covey said...

Ha Nick, love this. What a way to treat Goldilocks! I like the thriller aspect at the end. Great work for the fest.

Thanks for visiting my Cindy entry...

BTW, love: '...fell into a chasm of sleep.'

Talli Roland said...

Haha! Oh, poor Goldilocks. Must admit, I do love porridge, though.

Gossip_Grl said...

Great posting and loved the idea on the Three Bears ending. :) This twist would have definitely changed the story. Enjoyed reading and Thanks for reading my twist. :)

cleemckenzie said...

I never suspected that about porridge. Thanks for the heads up! I really like that the antidote is sugar. :-)

Ciara said...

Love it!! I think that is a great twist on an old tale, and in only a few hundred words. I guess she shouldn't have stolen the porridge.

E. Arroyo said...

This was my favorite growing up. Though she didn't eat herself to death. =) Great twist.

Christine Rains said...

Hehehe! Great story! I feel really sorry for the bears.

Oregon Gifts of Comfort and Joy said...

Nick, this is an awesome story!

Thanks so much for stopping by to visit.

Kathy M.

Gina Gao said...

This is a great post. Good job!

Cherie Reich said...

What a great twist! Loved it!

Nicole said...

Hey, I'm catching up on all the entries. Enjoyed this one!

Lynda R Young said...

lol, this is wonderfully creative.

C.M.Brown said...

How lovely! Twisted, but lovely!

james atel said...

its such a nice blog to provides info
hope more people discover your blog because you really know what you’re talking about. Can’t wait to read more

from you!
for more plz visit
Debt management plan

Cecilia Robert said...

haha wow, i didn't see that twist coming. Very well done, Nick. And porridge without sugar? she must have been really hungry..:D

Thanks for hopping by my blog, It's great to meet you.:)