Friday, 20 July 2012

Follow My Lead Flash Fiction Contest

Happy Friday, all. A little bit of flash fiction today in the form of my entry in Candilynn Fite's Follow My Lead contest for July 2012. Here's the image prompt:


Hope you enjoy! Head here to check out all the other wonderful entries.


Remember, Remember (300 words)

Molly shifted on the windowsill and looked down at the ground, then back at the fireworks which continued to boom and flaunt their colours above her. Remember, remember, the 5th of November. She wasn’t going to forget last year’s. That’s when she’d gone to the big display on the common, like she had every year since she was little – except, instead of her parents, she’d gone with Neil. Of course she’d replayed that night an infinitesimal number of times, but tonight, it was showing in 3D.

“Come on,” he’d said. “They’ve got millions, they’re not going to miss one or two.” She didn’t mind helping him steal. She always used to be up for a laugh and a thrill. Used to be.

No one could explain what had made the box blow up in her hands. Just a freak accident. Neil had disappeared, rather than get into trouble or – God forbid – try to help. The skin on her face had been melted so that she hardly resembled the girl she used to be, and a year later she still had hospital appointments each week and still felt the agonising tightness.

She knew some people were disgusted at the sight of her. They thought she’d brought it on herself by helping a loser like him in the first place. She used to love a bad boy. That had changed too.

He was there tonight, trying to impress a new girl who didn’t know his reputation. But they were just there to watch.

Molly looked at the ground again. She pictured it rushing up to meet her as those exploding fireworks had rushed to singe her skin and ruin her life. But that wouldn’t change Neil’s. How could it when he had no conscience? Sighing, she lowered herself down into her bedroom.

22 comments:

Kyra Lennon said...

What a beautifully written story! It would have been easy to opt for something romantic and soppy (and there is nothing wrong with that!) but you put a heartbreaking twist on it. Great work!

Lynda R Young said...

oh, intense. Love it.

Elise Fallson said...

Wow. Well done but so sad. I was afraid she was going to jump by the end.

Sally said...

That is a fantastic story and so well written.

Danielle B. said...

Whoa! I loved every word and the raw emotion of it all.

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

That is really tragic.

Madeline Mora-Summonte said...

Good one, Nick! Nice work.

Suze said...

Happy Friday, Nick!

You know, it's very difficult to tell an entire story in 300 words and yet you've managed to pull an entire narrative thread out of so little space. You have an excellent, almost intuitive sense of story arc, friend.

Julie Dao said...

WOW... I could sense her hurt and anger and resignation so well. I can't believe that guy got off scot-free while she has to suffer like this! Great story!

Martin Willoughby said...

Not only is that a good story, it gives a chilling insight into the mind of someone losing the will to live.

Deana said...

Oh wow, Nick. That is heart wrenching. Well done!

Kimberly Gabriel said...

I agree - beautifully written and completely caught me off guard. I loved it! I love that this wasn't at all what I expected when I looked at the picture! Well done!

Nick Wilford said...

Kyra - Thanks! I'm glad you liked it! :) I have a problem with romance, unless it's going wrong...

Lynda - Thanks!

Elise - Thanks. I didn't want to let him break her, I wanted her to seem as a strong person.

Sally - Thanks very much. :)

Danielle - Thanks! I'm glad the emotion came through.

Alex - I'm drawn to tragic!

Madeline - Thanks! :)

Suze - Your comment blew me away! Thanks so much!! :D

Julie - Maybe he'll get his comeuppance further down the line. Thanks!

Martin - I hadn't realised I had achieved that. Thanks!!

Deana - Thank you! :)

Kimberly - I'm not sure how I got there from the picture either. The other entries were awesome and some were really surprising! Thanks!

Chuck said...

Good story...wish I had the creative flash for this.

tfwalsh said...

Such a tragic and sad story of regret... greatly written. I really liked how smoothly it read and in those few words I got a feel for her history and the situation her actions left her. Well done.

Michael Pierce said...

Such a sad and great take on the picture. I really feel for Molly. Very nice flash fiction.

Nick Wilford said...

Chuck - Thanks! You're creative in many awesome ways!

TF - Wow, another comment that knocked my socks off. Thank you so much! :D

Michael - Thanks for saying so. :)

Lauren said...

Hate is the mirror image of love. Well done!

Nick Wilford said...

Lauren - Thanks. You're totally right!

joss said...

oh, I love this. Flash fiction was never my strong point, even short stories were always a struggle for me as I just wanted to dive deeper into my characters worlds. I wish, I had your skills for flash fiction though as I do love it. Love and hugs Joss xxx and thank you once again for visiting my blog.

Cynthia said...

Hope you've been having a good summer, Nick.

What a heart wrenching story and such a powerful piece of flash fiction. I hope this is only the beginning of the tale. I'd like to see Molly eventually find some peace and healing.

Medeia Sharif said...

Such a sad story. I really felt for the MC. Great job.